A lot of self-help courses and books are talking about the power of speaking, but almost no one speaks about the power of silence.
Being quiet is attractive and will give your character a charismatic appearance. You might think that silence is a weakness, but the truth is silence is a great skill that will help you look powerful and attractive in the eyes of others.
What makes Quiet people attractive?
Quiet people are mysterious souls. Every time you talk to them, every time you meet them there is something new you explore about them. This mystery around who they are makes them attractive.
They are good listeners. They listen and think deeply about whatever you say. That is something appreciated everywhere. They don’t keep on speaking anything and everything but only speak when they have something meaningful and that makes them good conversationalists. They aren’t attention seekers which makes them look real, normal, and attractive.
But to learn how to be quiet, you need both time and effort to practice this skill and make it an automated habit in your brain. It’s a powerful habit that can change your relationships and your self-awareness. Here are some of the benefits of being quiet:
You appear more powrful
powerful people impress by saying less. It might not seem like it, but being silent makes you appear powerful. You’ll always look like you know something important that you don’t want to share with anyone.
Louis the 14th would always have his courtiers tremble in fear when delivering bad news. He would always say: I shall see, and follow it with intimidating silence. This was a powerful man and his silence was one of the foundations of his power. If you are silent by nature, everything you say will be more significant and people will pay more attention.
Silence is a great way to learn self control
Sometimes, people might mistreat you and you want to lash out at the moment. You might feel satisfied at the moment after lashing out, but it is not worth the price to pay in the future. Serving your ego only takes you further away from the things that you want in life. Hold your tongue, calm down, and then respectfully hold your ground. Make sure you have a strategic response rather than just vent your emotions. Even if the other side is in the wrong, venting your emotions can make the situation worst. If you are always mistreated though, you should consider leaving.
Being silent helps you learn to be patient as well. Studies have shown that people who are comfortable being in silence tend to have more patience. Everyday life has many challenges and if you are ok with being silent, that’s your big advantage. Imagine being stuck in a traffic jam. You can be annoyed and angry, or you can sit patiently in silence, with your thoughts. Silence makes you calm, and when are you calm, you have more patience as well.
You will learn to read people
if you are always silent, you’ll often be listening and observing others. You can see through people’s true intentions because they might slip up trying to fill the silence
when you’re silent, you have the opportunity to read someone’s body language and see if it matches the words they are saying. The power of reading someone is a powerful skill you can learn by being silent
You will be a great listener and people will love talking to you
When you are being silent, you are giving other people time and space to talk and express themselves. Silence turns you into a great listener. People will appreciate that and gladly turn to you when they need to talk to someone. You’ll learn a lot about other people because they will be glad to share things with you. You may also find that as you listen to people more, you’ll find more things in common, really understand their views and you’ll have better relationships.
In Dale Carnegie’s famous book “How to win friends and influence people” he mentioned a story that he was talking to a florist at a dinner party. Dale was listening the whole time while the florist would talk on and on. At the end of the party, the florist would go on to tell the host that Dale was one of the best conversationalists he ever spoke to. Dale was praised for being silent most of the time and you can replicate the same situation. People want to be heard and understood, and by listening to them, you will win their hearts and they will love speaking to you.
Silence is a great negotiation tool
In negotiation, both parties want something from the other. Long pauses are awkward and uncomfortable for both parties. If you can be comfortable with the silence, you will have the upper hand in negotiating. It’s human nature to fill the void of silence so the other side will get nervous and can cave in to what you want. The silence will make it appear that the other side needs you more than you need them. You can also use silence to plan out what you want to say next. You don’t want to give a lot of information because it can and will be used against you.
You will have less regret
silence really is golden. Everyone has been in a situation where they said something they regretted the minute it came out of their mouth. Choose silence instead of blurting out things that you don’t really think. Once words are out, you can’t take them back. Many relationships have been broken beyond repair because someone said something bad without thinking. One of the first benefits you’ll notice of being silent is that you’ll have very few regrets about things you’ve said.
It makes you calmer
Silence is a great way to calm yourself, relax, and reduce stress and tension. It gives your brain to take a break from all noise and rush of everyday life. Being silent has a soothing effect on your mental state. Most people tend to live in a hurry, they forget to take time to take care of them selfs. Being silent is a simple way to give your mind a much-needed break. It’s an easy but powerful way to become calmer and more resistant to everyday stress.
“All profound things and emotion of things are proceeded and attended by silence.”
— HERMAN MELVILLE
Your intuition enhances
One more benefit of being silent is that your intuition enhances. “gut feelings” are responsible for knowing things based on your instincts and without the need to analyze everything. Silence really boosts that ability. When we are quiet, our intuition speaks loudly. Noise drowns out our intuition because we are more focused on what we are talking about than what we feel and notice around us. Being silent means you spend more time listening to your own thoughts. Silence gives your intuition more space to act. It helps you learn to trust yourself and your gut feelings more.